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Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Top Ten Implications of M$ Buying Google

Top 10 Implications of Microsoft Buying Google
10. Free worm with every search.

9. Google renamed "Microoosoooft."

8. Google becomes default search engine on all computers; attempts to use Yahoo! causes PCs to emit a pungent odor.

7. The search choices on Google will change from "Web," "Images," "Groups," "Directory," and "News" to "Web," "Shop Microsoft," "Buy From Microsoft Because You Have No Choice," and "Steve Ballmer Dancing."

6. Google Image Search will not show Microsoft's dark side.

5. All searches on the term "Steve Jobs" will return bios on Art Garfunkel, Ike Turner, Burt Ward (a.k.a. Robin), and other second fiddles.

4. Long speeches from Bill Gates about how "Smart Appliances" will allow owners to use Google to search for what's in their fridge. When pressed, Gates admits such appliances are only available in his mansion, and that he's never actually seen his refrigerator.

3. Microsoft uses Google technology to search for weapons of monopolistic destruction.

2. All searches on the term "Larry Ellison" will produce lists of garbage-collection websites.

1. "Bill Gates is richer than Warren Buffett" subliminally inserted into all search results.

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